Living On Hope
by nickersoncrazy
Summary: It was hope that got them through every minute they were apart...but what happens if that flame of hope begins to die out, leaving the rest of their lives in darkness? Please review.


Hey y'all! Here's another Nancy/Ned fanfic. It's kinda angsty, but it gets better at the end. [Now don't skip to the end, all you happy - ending lovers!

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_FLASHBACK:_

_They were sitting in the park that they often went to and it was their first time alone, since they had made up after a major fight._ Well, sort of made up_, Ned Nickerson reminded himself. He didn't know what had come over him. He'd been so happy when they had decided to give it another shot, but then he had begun to worry. _What if she does it again? What if she finds yet another guy? Finds yet another way to break my heart?

_He loved her more than anything else, he really did._ Too bad she doesn't feel the same way about me_, he thought sadly.That was why he had asked her to meet him at the park. To tell her something that he had to. Not wanted to; had to. He glanced over at her. She was sitting beside him, not a care in the world._

Why does she have to look so beautiful? How am I going to say this?_ He sighed softly._ I'm going to miss you so much, Nan.

_He swallowed hard, took a deep breath. " Nancy, I think it would be best for us to go our own ways," he blurted out. He had practiced saying this so many times, but not once, did it hurt so badly. He looked at her, his heart thudding. She looked as if she'd just been electrocuted. He didn't give her a chance to speak. The pain in her eyes made his heart ache._

_"Nancy, I'm not breaking up with you, even if it may seem that way. I just - I just think we need some space. Time to be apart. If we were really made for each other we'd find our way back, I know we will, somehow. Time will tell. I didn't mean to hurt you but -" he broke off._

I'm hurting myself doing this.

_"I'm really sorry, Nancy."_

_The last words he had said to her, the last words she had heard him say, before he walked out of her sight. Out of her life._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

_-------------------------------------_

Almost a month later, Ned was standing at the same spot in the park he'd last been to. This time he was alone, no Nancy beside him. The memory would just not fade, the hurt would not go away. He hadn't seen Nancy since then, hadn't even heard from her. He missed her more than he thought he would. 

_I miss her terribly. I feel so lonely. Have I made a big mistake?_

_No, I haven't . It's better to feel lonely, than heartbroken, which was always the way Nancy made me feel._

He knew he was over reacting, but he couldn't help it. She flirted with other men, and most of the time made him feel like she didn't need him, like he wasn't important to her. But what angered him the most was that, inspite of everything, she said she loved him. He smirked slightly.

_Then, does she have the habit of hurting people she loves, or something? She doen't love me._

_Does she?_

He had to admit there had been good times. Times that he still treasured. The day he asked her to be his girlfriend, their first date, the first time he touched her, kissed her. He found himself longing for those moments again. And he thought he had seen tears in her eyes when he told her that they needed space. Needed space, not break up.

_So why hasn't she called as yet? To tell me that she misses me, that she loves me?_

He had her number. He could always call her and tell her that he was crazy about her. But he wouldn't, he couldn't.

_She has to do this. She's the reason we are in this position. I'll just have to wait. But what if she never calls, what if she's got somebody else. She might_ _not even remember me_, he thought, his hurt deepening.

_I love you, Nan._

_--------------------------------------------------_

Late that night, Nancy lay in bed. She couldn't sleep. How could she, knowing that the guy she loved so much, had broken up with her? 

_He wanted space, not to break up,_ she remembered. _Then again, he probably said that not to hurt my feelings_.

He had always been like that. Not once had he hurt her. He'd been so faithful and there was nothing that he wouldn't do for her. He had been her best friend, he had always listened to her, been there for her and given her a shoulder to cry on.

She longed to look deep into his eyes. To feel herself wrapped tight in his arms.

_I love that feeling,_ she thought, tears filling her eyes. _So warm, so secure..._

She wanted to feel him. She wanted to hear his voice.

_Call him. You know he's not going to make the first move,_ she thought. _Why should he? He's waiting to see if I really do love him. He's testing me._

And she did. She did love him. Head over heels. She thought he had known that. But how could she expect him to? She had never really shown him how much she cared about him. He'd never seen that. He had thought he wasn't important to her. She'd kept all her feeling for him inside, she didn't know why.

She brushed away her tears. She need something to get her mind off this. She turned on the radio, but the song that played only made her think more of Ned.

_'...And she became, the girl from yesterday._

_She doesn't know what's right, she doesn't know what's wrong,_

_She only knows the pain that comes, from waiting for so long,_

_And she doesn't count the tear drops, that she's cried while he's away,_

_Because she knows deep in her heart, he'll be back someday...'_

_He'll be back someday,_ she thought_. He will._

_------------------------------------------_

Nancy was awake while the first rays of sunlight poured in through the window. The instant she had woken up the first thing that had come to her mind was Ned. She always went to sleep thinking of him, and now she even woke up thinking about him. 

_This is insane. I want Ned so much, why don't I just call him?_ She knew why, though. She was afraid of the way he would react. A guy as wonderful as him couldn't possibly stay single for long. What if he'd gotten someone else? She was afraid of the truth. The fear of rejection had taken over her.

_What's worse, being heartbroken because you're not with the one you love, or being heartbroken knowing that the one you love doesn't love you anymore?_

She didn't know.

_I can't live like this for the rest of my life, just with that flicker of hope. I've got to know , even if it turns out to be painful._

Before she could do anything else, she sent him a text message.

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Ned couldn't believe his eyes. I'm dreaming, he thought. 

_Ned,_

_Meet me at the park tonight, around seven, or so. Please, this is really important. I need to talk to you._

_Nancy._

He couldn't stop reading that message.

_Is this it? Does she want to tell me that she want us to get back again?_

_Or maybe she just want to tell me to give up, to stop hoping,_ he thought, his heart sinking. _To tell me that it's all over._

_How come with Nancy, there's always a negative thought, following a positive one_, he thought, slightly amused. _Maybe I'm just preparing myself for the worst._

He knew he had to go meet her. He had to know the truth, whether it would crush him or not.

_Seven, tonight. Brace yourself, Nickerson._

_--------------------------------------_

She stopped the car when she spotted Ned in the park, his back to her. She almost had an urge to drive back home and cry for the rest of her life.

Her breath shaking, she got out of the car and walked coser to him. He still hadn't noticed her._ O God, please help me._

_Turn around, walk away while you've got the chance,_ something told her.

_No. Keep going. Don't stop now, you can do this_, she told herself, trying to keep calm.

She gulped.

"N - Ned?," she asked so softly, that she wasn't sure that he had heard her. But he had, he'd heard the voice that he loved, the voice that he had missed so much. He turned around.

"Nancy?," he whispered just as softly.

She'd gone over what she had to say, so many times. But looking up at him, she couldn't remember a single thing. _Let your heart do the talking,_ she told herself.

Following her heart, she walked upto him and cupped his cheek in her hand. _I don't know what I'm doing._

"When you said you needed space, was that just a nice way of saying 'I want to break up with you'?," she whispered.

"No," Ned whispered back. He couldn't find anything to say. Her hand still on his cheek, she pulled him closer to her until they were inches apart.

_His eyes... they're so mesmerizing._

She moved closer. Centimeters apart. They were both breathing heavily. She saw his eyes close slowly. Her own eyes fluttered shut, and she kissed him, slow,deep and passionate. She let all the emotions she had held inside her heart, for the past month, find their way out. Her fingernails dug into his arm. His arms moved around her waist and held on. Nancy was almost afraid to end the kiss, to see how he would react. She had dreamt of this moment so many times... but now it was happening, so real.

They pulled back for breath. "Ned," she breathed. _What happens now?_

Ned led her to a bench and sat down, pulling her onto his lap. His face was against her neck as he nuzzled it. Nancy closed her eyes. Her heart was tap dancing in her chest. "Ned" she whispered. His lips kissed the softness of her own tenderly, as he squeezed her hip. Nancy couldn't hear anything, but the beating of his heart and loud music playing from some nearby party. They gently broke apart. Nancy looked deep into his eyes.

"Ned, I -I," she lost herself in the softness of his hair."I-...

"...love you?" Ned completed for her. Her heart nearly stopped.

"Yes, yes, I love you, so much, more than words can say, O God, Ned," she felt tears flood her eyes and she buried her face against his shoulder. He gently stoked the length of her spine.

"I love you, too," Ned said, passion reflected in his voice. "Does this mean we're back together?"

"Ya think," she asked, chuckling.

Just then, a song came on from over the party, a song so apt for the moment.

_'...the one I run to,_

_The one that I belong to,_

_You're still the one I want for life._

_You're still the one that I love,_

_The only one I dream of,_

_You're still the one I'd kiss...'_

A cold breeze blew and Nancy and Ned cuddled close , keeping each other warm.

"You're still the one," Ned whispered.

"You're still the one," Nancy answered. _The only one._

They slept together that night. Right there, in the park, but neither of them cared. The thought of having to separate and go home was simply unbearable. Their arms were around each other, wrapped tight for warmth. An air of love surrounded them. Both their hearts beat as one...

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Please tell me what you thought of this story. Constructive critisiscm and ideas would always be appreciated. Thanks. 

Lyrics from _The Girl From Yesterday_ by the Eagles and _You're Still The One_ by Shania Twain.

Later,

nickersoncrazy.


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